Fresh Meat

A lot of life feels like I’m seeing the world for the first time.

There is a steak tartare in front of me being served up with a bowl of melba toast. I look to my left and my friend is washing his hands. A song I recognise hums under the bar chatter. We’ve been talking all night. I’ve known him for five years but this is unlike any elongated conversation we’ve ever had. I’m sitting alone and people around me are laughing. It’s so nice to be here. There’s a resolution within myself that some time ago I was so thirsty for I couldn’t see. It’s here now and it’s like breathing in and breathing out. I have not been able to write. I feel so naked all the time. I finally like a Sauvignon blanc. I finally can play the guitar. Everything is so new, but nothing is. I’m in the welcome act of becoming myself everyday. It’s so good. It’s so good.

*

Cover image by Martin Parr.